Always Yours

Did I really just ask to go with him?

My plan for staying away from him was going great.

Not.

“Sorry darling but where I’m going ain’t a place for you”.

My stomach dropped at the sheer rejection. I should be relieved, but I wasn’t. I was going to get myself in trouble if I didn’t stop. I had to remember he was bad news.

I had to remember that I hated him.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and gave him a small smile. “Thanks again for bringing me home”. I about turned and started making my way back up the driveway.

He didn’t leave until I was inside.

Did he feel this shitty every time I turned him down?

No, I wasn’t doing that. I wasn’t going to overthink; in fact, I wasn’t going to think about him at all. I changed into my sweats and got some snacks from the pantry. I prayed my parents would be working late tonight.

Who am I kidding. They always work late.

I sat myself in front of the tv and didn’t move until there was knock on my front door. School was out so I was safe. Alice was stood on my front porch holding a pizza box.

“I’m the worst best friend”.

I crossed my arms over my chest. She was going to have to do better than that. She left me stranded. “And?”.

“And I’m sorry for leaving you at the diner”.

I moved to the side letting her past. “I had to ask Franko to bring me home”. I closed the door and walked back into the living room. “You do know he’s going to hold that over my head”.

“I really am sorry Aubrey”.

“It’s fine”. I took a slice of pizza before sitting on the couch. “Did you sleep off your bitchy mood?”.

“I did and I’m feeling much better”. She grinned.

“And Tommy?”.

“Who?”.

A laugh fell from my lips. “You do know you deserve better right?”.

“Yes, I know but there was something about him. He made me feel safe and he was nice to me”.

Yeah, he was nice until he got what he wanted.

“Have you decided what you’re wearing on your date?”. She asked.

My date?

Oh, I forgot about that.

“That’s tomorrow”. I whispered.

“Does he have any single friends; we could double date?”.

“I haven’t seen Ben since he asked me out. I’m not even sure it’s still happening”. I wasn’t sure I still wanted to go. He seemed like a nice guy, but I wasn’t attracted to him in that way.

I wanted to feel the spark and sadly with Ben I didn’t.

“Could always ask him tomorrow at school?”.

“Yeah”.

A sigh fell from her lips. “You don’t want to go now do you”.

“It’s not that it’s just-…”.

“He’s not Franko”. She cut me off.

I chewed my bottom lip. She hit the nail on the head, but of course I wasn’t going to admit that. “I’m not attracted to him”.

“Oh, please”. She rolled her eyes. “Anyone with eyes can see he is gorgeous. You won’t know if you like him unless you go”.

She was right. It wouldn’t hurt to go out with him, and it would take my mind off you know who.

“He wants to take me to the game”.

“You hate football”.

“I don’t hate it I just don’t hold any interest for it”.

“Wait, is he playing tomorrow because if he is it isn’t much of a date. I should come so you’re not standing alone”.

I never thought of that, and he was the quarterback so of course he would be playing. “I’ll speak to him tomorrow”.

“Does your mom know you have a date?”. She asked.

“I didn’t but I do now”.

Crap. How did I not hear her pull into the drive?

“It better not be with that boy Aubrey. I’ve told you countless times to stay away from him. He’s trouble and I don’t want you associating with people like him”.

A sigh fell from my lips. “It’s with a boy from school, Ben. He’s in my maths class. He stays on our street”. Maybe she would know his mom or something.

“Doesn’t ring a bell. Where is he taking you? Remember your curfew is 11 and no later. I want to meet him before you go out and I’m sure your dad will as well”.

She was already overreacting, and I hadn’t even gone on the date yet. This is why I don’t date or have a life. My parents were suffocating. They didn’t allow me to do anything unless it was on their ground.

“You won’t need to meet him because I’m not going”. It wasn’t worth the hassle and my mom would probably scare him off anyway.

..

Alice went home not long after my mom got in. She was asked to stay for dinner but refused. I don’t blame her; I wish I could have gone home with her. I finished the washing up and went straight to my room.

My mom was working from home, nursing a glass of wine and my dad wasn’t home yet. I showered and changed into my pyjamas before getting into bed. I had nothing else to occupy myself with.

I did all my homework in the diner today and I was all caught up with my revision. My life sucked. I had nothing to do and even if I did, I probably wouldn’t be allowed to do it.

I wonder how she would feel with me working at the diner.

It was a job and that meant I could get a car soon.

“Aubrey”. My mom knocked before coming in and sitting on the edge of my bed. I wonder what she was going to grill me about now.

“I’m tired mom”. I wasn’t I just didn’t want to talk to her right now. I couldn’t be bothered listening to her tell me what I should do with my life.

“I didn’t want you to cancel your date. Dad and I just worry about you. We want to make sure you’re safe”.

“I’m safe”.

“There’s bad people in this world Aubrey and I wouldn’t be able to handle it if something were to happen to you”.

Always thinking the worst. I couldn’t do anything without their approval, and I was starting to get sick of it. When was I going to be able to live my life the way I wanted.

Maybe I should just be honest with her and tell her how I feel. It felt like I couldn’t breathe at times.

“You’re suffocating me”.

“Aubrey we-…”.

“You worry and I get that, but I’m literally not allowed to do anything. How am I supposed to learn if you won’t let me?”.

This was probably going to end with an argument and me grounded. But I had to say what was on my mind. She had to know how I felt. For once I was going to stand up for myself.

“You’re sixteen”.Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org

“Yes, but I’m not stupid”.

“What is it you want to do?”. She asked.

“I want to be a teenager. I need to make mistakes so I can learn from them”.

“You want to be one of them hussy girls that get pregnant at sixteen? Go out and drink alcohol oh and maybe do drugs? That’s not how I raised you Aubrey”.

Completely pointless even bringing it up. I wasn’t going to be free of this until I turned eighteen and moved out.

They were going to end up making me hate them.

“You’re right mom”. So much for standing up for myself. Maybe I could run away?

“I always am honey. Now you get to sleep, and I’ll see you in the morning”.

..

I was in the worse mood ever today. I didn’t speak to my mom the whole drive to school. I was pissed that she dismissed what I was trying to say. She didn’t care. It was one of those if you live under my roof you go by my rules.

“Bye”. I closed the door before she could say anything.

I kept my head down and made my way inside. Alice wasn’t by the lockers like normal. I guess she was sick today. That or I was early. I got my books from my locker putting them in my backpack.

“Hey”.

Turning around I made a face when I saw Tommy, his arm around her shoulder.

“What are you doing?”.

“We made up”. She smiled.

I rolled my eyes but said nothing. I wasn’t getting involved. It was her life and if she wanted to continue getting hurt then so be it.

“I’m going to class. I’ll see you at lunch”.

“Aubrey, wait up”.

A sigh fell from my lips as I turned to face her. “You’re an idiot”. The words were out before I could stop them. “Why are you wasting your time with him when you deserve better”. I wasn’t saying Tommy wasn’t a nice guy, but I wouldn’t date him.

Like I said before, boys like him don’t do serious relationships. He proved that yesterday. And he made her cry.

“I really like him Aubrey and he did apologise”.

“Apologise for banging someone else?”. I had to stop while I was ahead. I was going to say something I couldn’t take back. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind today.

My mom had pissed me off and I was taking it out on the wrong people. Although I still stand by what I said. She deserves better. But I had to remember it was none of my business.

“Are you okay?”. She asked.

“I’m going to class”. Like always I would be the shoulder to cry on when he does it to her again.

Maths was my first class of the day. I would see Ben. I had decided I was going on the date; I just wasn’t going to tell my mom. What she doesn’t know won’t kill her. And who knows, maybe I could end up liking him.

I took my seat and got my textbooks out.

Mr Brooks wasn’t in yet, so the class was full of chatter and laughter. I really enjoyed maths. I loved numbers and solving problems.

Looking around the room my eyes landed on Ben. He was laughing about something and then his eyes found mine. His smile bright I couldn’t help but return it.

He got to his feet and slipped into the empty chair in front of me.

“Hey”.

“Hi”. I smiled.

“How crazy was the weather. I wasn’t sure if the storm was going to pass”.

“I like the rain”. I loved the sound of the rain. Listening to it at night before bed. It was therapeutic. “But I prefer the sun”.

“I’m just going to come right out and say it”. He scratched the back of his head and diverted his gaze. “Are we still on for tomorrow?”.

He was nervous but so was I. I had never been on a date before. I hadnt really had any experience with a boy. But Ben gave off good vibes and he seemed like a nice guy.

“Yes, but is it okay if I meet you here instead of you picking me up?”. Do I tell him about my mom, or do I just leave it?

He smiled and nodded. “I was thinking after we could maybe grab something to eat?”.

“I’d like that”.

“Okay class settle down and open your textbooks to page 56”.

..

Today had been a quick day. Alice was stood by our lockers like always waiting to go for lunch. This time she was on her own.

“I hope they have pizza today”.

I wasn’t hungry and I wasn’t in the mood to sit at a table surrounded with people I didn’t know. More to the point I wasn’t in the mood to be questioned by idiots. I was going to find a quiet spot and read my book.

“I’m going to head to the library”. I closed the door to my locker. “I’m not hungry”. My mood was slightly better, but I was afraid someone might say something causing me to snap.

Like that girl Cass.

“Are you feeling, okay?”. She asked.

“Just not hungry”. I did wonder where Tommy was. Come to think of it I hadn’t seen Franko today. Not that I was thinking about him.

“You never skip on lunch Aubrey, and you never pass up on food”.

“Where’s Tommy?”.

“He’s keeping us a seat. Please come and eat something”.

“Fine”. As soon as we walked into the cafeteria my stomach rumbled with the smell. I glanced over at the table. Franko wasn’t there.

“He’s sick”. Aubrey whispered.

“Who’s sick?”.

She sighed. “Go sit down, I’ll get the lunch”.

I chose the seat beside Tommy. As soon as I sat down, I knew it was a bad idea. The table grew quiet and just as I dreaded her voice reached my ears.

“Did I say you could sit?”. Cass, of course.

This girl didn’t like me at all.

“Oi”. Tommy slammed his hand on the table causing me to jump. “Leave her be. She’s off limits and you fucking know it”.

She didn’t like that. Her face like thunder she glared at him. “She can’t sit here because I don’t like her”.

This is why I didn’t want to sit here. There was always some sort of drama and I always seemed to get caught up in it. I scraped my chair back and got to my feet.

She smirked.

“Sit down Aubrey”. Tommy’s eyes never left Cass.

“No, it’s okay I have somewhere I need to be anyway”.

“What’s going on?”. Alice asked.

“I’m going to get some fresh air”.

“You’re a real bitch Cass. He ain’t gonna be happy about this”.

I didn’t expect it, but Alice followed me out.

“What happened?”.

We sat and had our lunch on the bleachers. For the first time in my life, I wanted to skip the rest of the day. I just wasn’t in the mood to be here.

“That girl doesn’t like me”.

“She’s a bitch”. She shrugged. “But she would never do anything to you”.

Yeah, because that made it better.

“She’s jealous”.

A laugh fell from my lips. “Jealous of what?”.

“You now did you speak to Ben?”.

“I’m going on the date”.

“Good”. She grinned.