Chapter 40
His words hit me like a brick. I understood what was happening and I had still never been more confused in my entire life.
“Are you suddenly deaf now or do you need help getting your a** off the f***g bed?!” he yelled and I felt tears prick at it eyes. I did need help getting up because of how good he f**d me last night but he didn’t need to know that.
“It’s just, we-“I felt the need to explain to him, to clear things up, to remind him that he didn’t need to be mean to me anymore, that we were past that now but it was hard to talk and hold back tears at the same time.
“We had sex last night!” I managed to blurt out without tears spilling from my eyes.
“Yeah, I know. Stop acting like it’s your first time and get the hell off my bed. That **t only happened because I was drunk, you’re not the kind of woman I imagine myself holding while sober.”
I thought.
I don’t know what I thought.
I didn’t know if I was even thinking while I was spreading my legs for him and sucking his **k. He didn’t look so p**d when his head was buried between my legs and he was eating me out like it was his first meal in days weeks.
I tried to get off the bed when I realized that I was completely naked, shame washing over me. I had not the slightest idea where my clothes were and his unshifting gaze was not helpful. I couldn’t think straight. I felt so ashamed of myself and I wanted to dash out of the room and never come back but I couldn’t run out of his room with nothing but his sheets wrapped around my chest
Not only would the guards tease me, the maids would mock me and if the news ever got to Mara, I was never making of the palace alive. I could as well erase all my fantasies about freedom.
it out
I found my bra next to his dresser that I’d rid of stained panties a million times before and the tears that pooled my eyes threatened to spill. Never once did I think I would become one of them. I’d seen him do this to girls over and over again, why the hell did I let it happen to me?! What was I thinking letting it happen to me?!
After an embarrassingly long and painful minutes and twirling in circles around his bed with his bed sheet sweeping the floor behind me like a luxurious wedding dress, I finally found my top underneath the bed. How it got there. I had no memory of. My shorts was lying somewhere in plain sight and I didn’t even bother trying to find my panties because Aston was standing there like a ticking time bomb. If I wasted any more time than I already he had, there was no assurance that he wasn’t going kick me out of his room, literally,
I walked back to my room, dragging my leg on the ground and feeling like a complete fool.
How could I have let myself fall into Aston’s bed?
I knew he was a horrible person, and yet I still gave in to him. What the hell was I thinking?
What kind of spell did he have me on for him to get me to spread my legs without questions, after all the horrible things he had done to ruin my life. Did he use some kind of potion on me that I wasn’t aware of?
I had always judged the girls he slept with for not seeing through his shenanigans and for trading their dignity for just a few minutes of pleasure but I was not any better than them at the moment, I was more pathetic because at least, some of them got paid for what they did.
The memories of last night flashed through my mind, making me cringe with embarrassment. I couldn’t believe I had been so wrak. I had always thought of myself as a strong person, but in that moment, I felt like a vulnerable little girl. “Aston don’t stop? What the hell was wrong with my f*g b**rain? What was I thinking?
“Was I that sex-starved to sleep with the devil himsell?”
As I entered my room, Islamed the door shut behind me and locked it. I didn’t want to see anyone, especially not Aston. I feh like hiding under my bed forever. I walked over to my bed and collapsed onto it, burying my face in my pillow. Tears streamed down my face as I cried, feeling a lot more than ashamed and humiliated. I wish there was a heavier word to describe what I was feeling because it was a lot more than shame, Shame was when I had to bow to the head maid for the first time, shame was when the guards laughed at me while they whipped me, shame was when I saw Dax at the Alpha king meeting, what I feh towards myself was disgust
I couldn’t bear the thought of facing anyone, especially not Aston. I hated myself so much in that moment. I wished I could just disappear
Just then, there was a knock on my door. I froze, hoping it wasn’t Aston. The knock came again, and I heard Brax’s voice calling out to me.
“Kira, are you okay? Can I come in?” I didn’t want to see Brax either, but at least he was kind and genuinely cared about me.
I quickly wiped away my tears and tried to compose myself. I didn’t want Brax to see me like this, it was too embarrassing. “Yeah, I’m fine. I called out, trying to sound cheerful. “Just a little tired. hoped he would believe me and go away.
Brax opened the door and walked in, a concerned expression on his face. “You sure you’re okay? You look a little pale.” He walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I felt a surge of gratitude towards him. He was always so kind to me.
I forced a smile onto my face. “Yeah, I’m just a little under the weather. That’s all.” I hoped he would drop it, but he just looked at me sceptically
Brax nodded, seemingly satisfied with my answer. “Okay, well, I was thinking of having a picnic in the garden this evening. Would you like to join me?” I hesitated for a moment, unsure if I was ready to face anyone, even Brax. But something about his kind expression made me agree. “Yeah, sure. That sounds nice
Brax smiled and nodded. “Great! Il meet you in the garden at 6pm then.” He turned and walked out of the room, leaving me feeling a little better. At least I had something to look forward to now.
After he left, I felt a wave of shame wash over me again. How could I have done something so **id? I knew Aston was trouble, and yet I still gave in to him. I tried to push the thoughts out of my mind and focused on getting ready for the picnic. I put on the nicest clothes I owned, a simple but pretty dress, and headed out to the garden.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.
As I walked towards the garden, I noticed a maid waiting for me. Kira, Brax is waiting for you,” she said, gesturing towards a path I hadn’t noticed before. I wondered why I never did but the answer wasn’t far fetched. I always had my head down anytime I walked around the palace,
I just thought it was different in the garden because it was the only place in the entire palace that I was at peace the most but I guess it only felt that way in my head.
I followed the path, expecting to see Brax laying out a picnic blanket or smiling and waving at me or something but there was nothing of teh sorts. I wondered if I was too early or if I was on the right path but as I turned a corner, I was confronted by men in masks. The palace guards didn’t wear masks so they were definitely not from the palace. Fear gripped my chest.
Before I could even react, they grabbed me and bundled me into a car. I tried to scream, but one of them covered my mouth, and the car sped off before I could even process what was happening.
I was trapped, and I had no idea where I was going or what was going to happen to me. All I could think about was how st**id 1 had been, and how much I hated myself for it. I had been so blind, so naive. I had thought Aston was interested in me, but now I realized he had just been using me. And now, I was paying the price.
I was being kidnapped or about to be murdered, how the hell was I still thinking about Aston!!!