you don’t deserve me
Clara’s pov
I don’t want to give up easily as I find myself in the hospital. I heard what the doctor said a while ago. It was a stroke. She is the coolest person I have ever seen. Why does she have to collapse like this?
Is it because of my miscarriage news? I am fine. Why did she take this so seriously? But am I fine? My baby, mine and Alex’s love is gone from this world before even we could know of it’s presence. If he knew that I was pregnant when I was leaving for the camp, would he let me go? We would have partied like hell and even we would have forgotten our fights. Mira would become a just photograph in our lives. I shouldn’t have left for the camp.
I saw Alex in the most broken state. I wanted to comfort him. But I am scared of his reaction. Each and every reactions of him made me question his love for me. I don’t want to do that.
“Alex” I called him slightly like a whisper. I saw his expressions changed to a rigid one. Maybe he didn’t know my presence till now?
“Get out” I think I have heard it wrong but I saw his lips movement. My heart crashed into pieces. Please God don’t let this happen.
“I am sorry, please. Let me explain” I begged him as I have no energy left within me. If he comes to know about everything, he would break down.
“I am sorry. Can you leave now?” His voice was so harsh, loud and rude. I have never heard his loud voice like this. My heart thumped extremely fast and I jumped in anticipation.
I moved to his side to touch him but he dodged it like my touch scorched him. Little hope which I had when I came here, crashed down with his reactions. He is disgusted. How can he? I don’t know if I can cry now as my tears seemed to be in loss with his continuous rude behaviour.
“I wish I didn’t meet you in the first place” that’s it, my entire blood circulation stopped at the moment. He knew that words matter to me the most. He said those just like that? He had no regret in saying those? I felt so stupid to even stand there expecting him to say more. My heart screams that he never meant those but I don’t care. Honestly I don’t care now what he means and what he wants. All that matters is what he said and I looked at him with only one motive: to make him regret his words.
“Get out before I do something which I might regret later” He said. Honestly, what else would he do now?
That moment I decided that I won’t tell him anything like this. He should beg me to tell. I won’t beg before him anymore. He has done enough. Honestly I don’t have much energy left to fight anymore.
“Get out of the hospital? From home or your life?” I asked and now I know what would be his answer. But I want to hear it from him. Maybe this is the wrong timing to drag the fight. I can just sit and wait for the situation to calm down. But why do I have to do that? I won’t do and I can’t do.
“Your wish” his words has a direct meaning though. He didn’t even wait to see me. He left the place just like that.
Should I wait here to get humiliated more? I dragged myself out of the hospital as I was continuously sobbing. If I see Mira now, I would just thank her for showing me the reality check of my life.
If it will scare my parents to see me like this in this state? But I care least about it as I entered my home and locked my room. I am lucky to have them in my life. They didn’t bombard me with questions as they left me alone realizing that there was something wrong with me and Alex.
I saw the message on the group. I left the group and deleted its conversation. Should I tell him that I don’t know who did this? Maybe it’s Mira. Again, will he believe me?
“I wish I didn’t meet you” I let out a loud laugh as I recalled his words. I gulped two painkillers. I know it’s not advisable. But I don’t care now. I want to get relieved of this pain. I know that no tablets can cure this pain.
Alex’s magical love chapter is closed now in my life. I will never forgive him or forget what he did to me. I will never go to him.Copyright by Nôv/elDrama.Org.
It was so painful to make this decision but nothing is more important to me than my self respect.
End of pov
Clara’s forehead filled with sweat as she recalled the night again. What a nightmare. She twisted and turned for five times and it was difficult to open her eyes or move easily. Where the hell is she? Her head started hammering from inside as if someone was beating from inside with a large rod. She held her hair and fisted it to ease the pain.
“ah,” she screamed out of pain but felt that she was locked with something.
Slowly she opened her eyes and widened them when she saw Alex sleeping beside her, hugging her as if she was a pillow. Recalling the day made her even disgusted to be near him.
“Alex. Idiot. Leave me.” Clara yelled but Alex hugged her more in reflex.
“Omg. How did you guys end up here?”Edward asked, gaping at their position.
“Wow” Jason dropped his phone to the ground.
Alex lazily opens his eyes and gets shocked by his posture. But neither of them moved away which confused Edward and Jason.
“Did you guys take the acting drama seriously?” Edward asked but both of them are busy holding their heads to get rid of the pain.
“Why is it painful?” both of them asked instantly.
“You both were drunk” Jason replied with a smile.
“But why is my head paining the same as theirs?” Edward asked, all confused. As far as he knew, he took Alex to the bed and after that, he didn’t remember anything.
“I will kill you if you did not open this door now” Alina screamed as all widened their eyes and ran to save her. She was locked in the bathroom. Who the hell locked her? The right question would be who dares to do so?
Alina came out when Jason helped her. She ran towards Edward and grabbed his collar, startling everyone around her.
“Why the hell did you drink last night?” she asked in her high-pitched voice
“Did I?” Edwars asked as the words sunk into his head. That’s why his head is in pain.
“He even made them sleep like this and tied them up like this” She added as Clara turned again to see Alex who was too close to her side. She forgot to even wiggle away from his clutch.
“Can you fight later?” Alex asked with a bored expression.
“Please untie me from her. She might feel burned” he added to show how much her words sound like.
“But guess she started liking this drama and taking it too seriously, isn’t it?” He asked as his breath touched her ears. She closed her eyes in frustration.
“don’t worry. It happens. At least when you have such a hot handsome husband in your drama” Alex is not at all in the mood to stop. But all the while no one notices how Alina was burning in rage. She can even pull Alex’s hair from his head like the same when she fought with Edward for the first time.
“My head is throbbing and now I feel nauseated with his constant talks,” Clara replied as she started wiggling.
“Now she gets irritated with my voice too. Congratulations to me.” Alex proudly announced but Alina came and harshly pulled the rope and set them free with a fire look towards Alex. Clara was alarmed by her behaviour all of a sudden.
“Of course, if I were in her place, I would never like to even see your face” Alina yelled all of a sudden, startling everyone with her words for Alex.
“What?” Alex was confused about her behaviour towards him all of a sudden. Edward couldn’t comprehend anything.
“Don’t talk to me. I will kill you” Alina pulled Alex’s collar all of a sudden, startling everyone.
Clara gasped as she closed her mouth with her hands. Did she say everything to her? She hell never wanted this matter to come out like this. Of course, she wanted Alex to regret and live in guilt. But all she wanted was only if he asks her the reason or if he gives her the chance to tell. But with this, everything will be a mess for sure.
“Ani” Clara tried to grab her but Alina pushed her suddenly as she turned to Edward with eyes full of tears.
“Ask her not to talk to me ever. I am no one to her.” Alina yelled as she came to Edward’s side. Now everyone is too confused about her behaviour. She is angry with Alex but at the same time, she is hell angry with Clara too.