FATED BOND

I stirred in my sleep. The memories of the night before came rushing back. I didn’t feel his presence so I turned around to check if he was gone. But there he was staring at me, with a smile on his face. His cheek was resting on his left hand.

“I love you, Nina”, he pecked my lips.

I smiled. “Good morning, Amar.”

“Morning, merge Khushee”, he smiled.

That was what he used to call me even after returning to India. But he stopped calling me the moment Lakshmi took in. I didn’t know but I figured it out on the day of Damien’s 10th birthday when he was supposed to come to America and he didn’t.

When he called to apologize and told me Lakshmi went into labor, I did some calculations and I figured out he stopped calling me his happiness after copulating with Lakshmi. It was exactly 9 months since the last time he called me that and it broke my heart.

“You thought I was gone?” He questioned and I shrugged as he pulled me close to him. “I’m not going anywhere again, Nina. I’m here to stay.”

“Uhmm”, I murmured and began to play with his curly hair.

“I’m here to stay, meree Khushi”, he took my lips again and laid my back on the bed. We were lost until I remembered the question that had been on my mind since the day before.

I pulled away. “Amar?” I called.

“Uhmm”, he pecked me again. “I missed you so much, Nina. Years of staying away from you were hell and torture. I love you.” He kept trailing kisses all over me.

“Amar?” I called again, with a serious tone.

I guessed he detected the tone of seriousness and he looked at me. “Yes?”

“What about your wife?” I finally asked.

He smiled but I saw hurt beneath the smile. I wondered what happened between them.

“I divorced her already”, he answered and sat upright, resting his head on the headboard.

“What?” I was surprised. I pulled the duvet to my naked body to cover my bosom as I sat upright too. “What happened?”

He sighed. “She cheated on me.”

That wasn’t what I was actually expecting. I thought he would say he divorced her because of me. Because he finally realized we were meant to be. Because he didn’t love her but me. I couldn’t help but feel hurt again. I knew it. Something must have happened between them. It was obvious Amar was still a coward. If she hadn’t cheated on him, he would still be with her.

“What about the kids?” I asked despite my hurt. I wouldn’t want them to be deprived of not having a father close to them.

“They aren’t mine.”

“What?” I exclaimed in shock as I closed my mouth with a gasp. “Both kids?”

“Yes.”

“You didn’t have sex with her?”

“I did.”

“I knew it”, I murmured to myself.

I knew Lakshmi must have done something terrible to Amar. I know Amar wasn’t courageous enough to let go of things easily, especially a marriage that has to do with his family obligations.

“You know what?” He demanded and I realized I voiced out my thoughts.

“I knew you wouldn’t be here if that wasn’t the case”, I admitted with no remorse.

“What are you saying?” He furrowed his brows.

“What I am saying is that you are here because your wife cheated on you. The Amar I know isn’t that courageous to leave his family…”

“Nina, what are you saying? I’ve always wanted to divorce her, her actions only made the process faster.”

“Amar, I know you.”

“It looks like you don’t.” I shook my head. “I can’t believe we are having this conversation after what we shared last night.”

“Well… I know you are good at running off after every sex, you have the opportunity to do that now.”

“Nina”, he yelled furiously. “What is wrong with you?”

“Nothing is wrong with me, Amar. I’m just being realistic. You won’t be here if Lakshmi didn’t cheat on you. She cheated on you and you felt it’s time to come back for me. That is the truth.” He only shook his head.

I could see I had spoiled his mood and he was really in no mood to argue with me. I stood up. I wondered why I have been feeling nothing but anger since the day he stepped into the house. I guess I was taking things too far. I was overreacting but I didn’t care. I wanted to know the position I held in his heart.

Why didn’t he come for me before Lakshmi cheated on him?

“Where are you going, Nina?”

“You should go home, Amar,” I said instead as I opened the bathroom door.

“We aren’t done talking….” He said and moved close to me.

“Go home”, I shouted as I shut the door in his face.

****

I scolded myself mentally immediately I came out of the bathroom to see an empty room. Amar was gone. I recalled I told him to go and hoped he didn’t misunderstand my home for China or India. I meant for him to go to wherever he was lodging in America till I was no longer angry with him. I was supposed to be angry at him.

I’m making things difficult for him, I told myself as I wore my clothes.

I began to reminisce about what happened between us the night before and I smiled. Amar knew the right way to make wondrous love to me. It was totally different from what I used to have with Danny. It was full of passion, desire, love, and need. It was 26 years since we last saw or had sex but it still felt like the first time we had sex.

I shook my head when I realized I can never get Amar out of my head, no matter how angry I am.This content belongs to Nô/velDra/ma.Org .

I loved him. I still loved him. It is high time I let go of the past and accept him wholeheartedly and make our dreams of being together possible. I hope he will come back soon. I missed him already, I thought to myself.

My stomach growled and I sauntered to the door, took the staircase, and went downstairs to go to the kitchen to see if Nadia had something for me. I bumped into Daisy in the kitchen.

“Mom”, she said and I rolled my eyes. I tried to walk past her but she hugged me from behind.

“Let go of me, you brat”, she laughed instead. “You fell in love with him and that made you support him. You didn’t support me, Daisy”, I feigned annoyance.

“Come on, mom. I was just trying to make you see…..”

“See what?” I barked.

I turned to Nadia. “Nadia, what did you cook? I’m damn hungry.”

“I’m almost done cooking. I’ll be done in a minute.” I nodded and made to go out of the kitchen.

“I saw Amar leaving your room a few minutes ago”, Daisy followed me back to the living room. I rolled my eyes and refused to answer her.

“How come you aren’t in school?” I asked after a while.

“A break.”

“Where is my granddaughter? It looks like she is the only one that loves me unconditionally…”

“Mom”, she chuckled and hugged me again. “You know I love you, don’t you?”

I tried to hide my smile. “I’m beginning to doubt that.”

“Come on, I want the best for you and from the looks of things, it looks like things are ok between you two now.”

“Not really”, I replied and bit my lips. Daisy stared at me like she was trying to figure out what happened between us. She was about to open her mouth when I saw a figure at the doorstep. I looked up to see Danny.

A wave of guilt washed through me the moment he smiled at me. I couldn’t smile back. Daisy saw him too and disappeared before I knew it. Danny came fully in and I stood up, biting my lips in guilt. It was obvious he came to plead. It was obvious from his look.

“Danny.

“Nina”, we both called at the same time and he chuckled and tried to pull me into his arms.

“I’m sorry for shouting at you, Nina. I didn’t mean to. I was just angry”, he said when he noticed I returned the hug coldly.

“It’s ok.”

“I miss you already. Can we go to the house? I have a surprise for you.”

I shook my head and answered softly. “No.”

I felt he needed to know that I cheated on him. I really doubt if things will ever return to normal between Danny and me since I had sex with Amar. It was clear that I still love Amar, my heart, body, and soul craves for him.

“Why?” He frowned.

“I….. I.. “, I stammered. I didn’t know how he was going to take the news

“If you don’t want kids, I’m ok with it. I love you, Nina”, he uttered and touched my arms.

“I’m sorry, Danny”, I blurted out.

“Sorry? Sorry for what?”

“I had sex with Amar last night”, I confessed and his face turned white.