Chapter 265
Angel
My lips lengthened into an amused smile the moment Thea left my room, I bit my lip and let my hand feel her on my door. Her scent still lingered and I swear it drove me insane.
Fuck….
I should have kissed her more deeply but I was afraid she would resist if I went further. She was obviously confused about what she wanted and I was impatient to know how she truly felt about me. She cared about me, that I was sure of but what I didn’t know was if she loved me as much as she used to.
Thinking About it only made my heart constrict painfully. I wanted all her love just like I did before I put her through hell. I hoped that one day she could forgive me and love me as much as I have and will always love her.
The stinging pain from my chest as a result of my injury wasn’t much of a bother as I kept replaying images of Thea in my mind.
Florentine came to tend to me this morning before going to the clinic and I couldn’t subdue the urge to ask her about Thea.
I wanted to go after her but then she always ended up yelling and saying hurtful things to me.
Maybe I’d just let her be, if I had my guess right she would want to know how I was doing or maybe not, because Thea never showed her face to me the entire day.
I had moved about in the mansion secretly wishing I’d catch a glimpse of her and when I didn’t find her and my desire to see her took over my heart, I headed for her room but then I sighted my sister and Camilo coming out of her room and I quickly hid so they didn’t see me.
They had brightened expressions on their faces and it got me analyzing the situation in there.
Thea must be happy as well if the girls were. What exactly were they talking about? Did she mention our encounter to the girls? Did she even talk about me? Damn it! My head kept flooding with questions and I felt frustrated.
I decided to head back to the room hoping I’d see Thea at breakfast tomorrow. I wouldn’t be able to catch a sleep this night because of my excitement but it would be worth it.
I waited a while in my room but the place was way too suffocating so I left again.
I decided that I didn’t care if she yelled or said things to hurt me, seeing her was more rewarding.
I got to her room only to realize that she had gone out not long ago. I went to Florentine’s room after a little calculation.
Knight and Caspian were home and I believed the ladies must be with them at the moment. I went to the kitchen just to be sure since that was their usual hang out spot and I couldn’t find them so I went to Florentine’s room and was told she was by the garden.
Right….
Thea had to be there with her. As I approached the ladies, I could hear their voices from a distance but it came more like a whisper. They seemed to be talking about something serious which raised my curiosity.
“You have to make a decision Thea.”
That was the first sentence I heard as I got closer to them.
“I’m confused. How can I hate him so much and love him with everything in me? After everything Angel has done I’m still in love with him….”
“What did you just say?”
I was beyond shocked to hear Thea confess her feelings for me to Florentine. My heart was beating so fucking loud. Drumming in excitement.
I heard right and this wasn’t some sort of imagination like I always had. I had heard this woman tell me she hated me many times, how she wanted to be away from me, she had even asked me to die and now she was talking about still being in love with me?
This had been my greatest fear ever since I learnt about the truth. I had been so fucking scared that Thea’s love for me had changed. I was so damn scared of losing her and all my worry seemed to have been for nothing.
“What did you just say Thea?” I asked sighing sharply. I was still shock strucked that it seemed like I was hearing an impossible news.
The ladies looked at me, face ashen like I had heard something that was forbidden. Was that how much Thea despised loving me? Did she hate herself for it?
“What part did you hear?” Thea asked looking very nervous that her fingers shook and her lips quivered. She was breathing deeply as well as Florentine who looked like they had gotten into some kind of big trouble.
“You just said you were still in love with me Thea.” I said and she let out a sharp sigh. She quickly avoided my gaze and I noticed the movement of her throat as she gulped in fluid. “I didn’t hear wrong did I?” I asked to be sure while taking some steps close to her.
“Angel… it doesn’t mean anything.” She said and I scoffed throwing my face to the side. I turned back to her with a look of disbelieve. She dipped her head again avoiding my gaze.
“What do you mean? It means a whole lot to me Thea. You made me feel like you hated me. I worried myself to sleep every night thinking that I had lost your heart and would never get it back.”
“To you then but not to me.” She said raising her voice and I hiss startling her.Material © of NôvelDrama.Org.
“You know that’s a lie Thea.” I said stepping forward and forgetting that Florentine was just beside her. Thea moves away from me to hide behind Florentine which brings a sad smile to my face. I clench my jaw hoping that Florentine would get my message and leave us alone.
“Angel please, not today. You need to rest.” Florentine stepped in.
“Thea come out, let’s talk. Please.” I pleaded but she shook her head. Thea….?”
“I don’t want to talk so just go away.” She said still hiding behind Florentine. I push my hands into my pocket trying to hide my fist.
“Can you leave us alone Florentine?” I asked and she blinked nervously. She looked unsure. My tone came out like a command so I guess she was confused on what to do.
“Thea, I’m sorry but you both need to talk.” She said with regret in her voice.
“No, Florentine. I’m not standing here with him. I’ll go. You can speak with him if you like.” She said and it hurt that she wouldn’t call my name and rather refer to me as ‘him’ and before Florentine could say a thing to stop her, she walked past us, passing a forced glare at me. She was trying hard to get mad at me.
“Thea, wait!” I called going after her. “Thea!” I yelled again seeing that she was on the run.
“Angel wait!” I stopped, hearing Florentine call after me
“What is it?” I said giving her a side tilt without turning back.
“Please don’t go after her.” She begged and I had to turn around to understand the reason behind her words.
“Didn’t you just hear her Florentine? I need to speak with Thea.” I said pointing in the direction Thea went. Florentine stepped forward, her face turning serious.
“Maybe you didn’t hear the part where she said she hated you so much.”
She said and my head fell in defeat. That was true, she mentioned that as well. I ran my fingers through my hair, I didn’t know what to do at this point to win her over.
“Tell me Florentine, what can I do? I’m desperate. I need Thea to forgive me.” I say to her letting myself be vulnerable. I see her eyes soften like she felt sorry for me and then she sighes.
“First, we need to talk….”
____
Florentine took me to her room and while I waited confused on why she brought me here and eager to know what and how important what she had to say was. She finally stopped pacing about the room and turned to look at me.
“Do you know why Thea finds it so hard to forgive you despite loving you?” She started and I could already see tears glistening in her eyes. She made it sound like there was something big I needed to know.
As much as I was afraid to know the reason I still wanted to know. “Why?”
“It’s not because you locked her in a dungeon or because you made her starve or work her ass out.” She continued and this seemed to be getting more serious than I had expected. ” You slept with another woman and it tore her from inside out. She cried a lot while suffering because of you Angel.” She said and I hated myself all over again for putting Thea through all that. Fucking Natalia after knowing how she treated Thea was very low of me. I wished I could erase all that had happened.
“I was so stupid.” I said feeling ashamed of myself.
“That’s not even it.” She said and I got confused.
“What?”
“Angel…. Brace yourself for what I’m about to say next.”
“And what is that?” She sighes deeply and I could tell that whatever it was bore a weight on her. I tried not to look like it but deep down, I was scared. Florentine gulped a mould and I watched her lips carefully as she opened them to speak.
“Angel, you and Thea had a baby.”
Silence….
Dead silence enveloped the place, like a shot to the chest I felt it, shock… utter shock, shaking my entire being.
What was this I just heard. Thea and I… A baby?
Had or… What in the world fell off Florentine’s mouth?
I remained silent for longer than I knew but I could still hear Florentine’s voice echo her previous words. The words ‘had a baby’ hit harder each time her voice echoed until her voice became faint and faded.
“…. What?” I finally voice, still in shock from the news. I was still trying to process the entire situation. When was that, how did I not know sooner.
Pain, regret, guilt surged with full force into my heart and for the first time I truly understood what Thea really meant when she called me a monster.
“You were supposed to be a father Angel.” She said and the word ‘supposed’ hit me again. Why did she say it like it was something that would have been?
“What exactly do you mean Florentine?” I asked getting anxious and moving close to her. She looked away and I could see her trembling. She was scared to answer.
“She carried your child while you punished her and the reason she hated you so much was because she lost it after seeing you kiss Lola.” She blurted and I was left in a devasting state.
Thea and I had a child and we lost it? What in the …. What the fuck did that mean?
That I’d never get to see my child?
I gasped sharply and shighed heavily feeling my heartbeat against my head.
I was devasted beyond words could explain.
“Angel!” She called holding me when I staggered.
Family, a family of my own was what I never thought of. I knew Thea was always on pills but we couldn’t be too careful and I remembered she was to take some after the party but she never came back that day so the possibility was there.
“Hold on, are you saying that I was supposed to be a father?” I said with so much difficulty as I could feel my throat being strained from pain I felt within me.
“Yes, Angel.”
“No, no, no, no… no!” I yelled, wishing I could unhear what Florentine had just revealed.
The images of that day came flooding into my head along with the intense guilt.
I thought Thea had only be heartbroken from seeing Lola kiss me little did I know that she had collapsed because she lost our baby due to that same reason.
“Are you saying again that I’m the reason Thea lost our baby?”
“Angel don’t look at it that way….”
“Why didn’t no one tell me!” I yelled and Florentine was shaken from my tone. On the other hand, I was trembling and my eyes stung with tears. I hated myself, I hated myself so fucking much!
How could I have caused Thea so much pain to the extent of having a miscarriage?
Oh God! I’m a terrible person. A monster that’s what I fucking am.
I paced about the place, my mind was waging war against me. My situation had only gotten ten times worse. How could I even forgive myself for this?
Thea was right to hate me the way she did.
“I did such terrible things and everyone kept silent about it! Why Florentine? Damn it!” I continued with my outrage scattering whatever I could find around.
I was so angry at myself and everyone for not telling me. “How did you let Thea suffer with my child!”
“I’m so sorry Angel, I really tried to tell you….”
“Fuck it Florentine. You tried to? I lost my child! You know what pains me more? That Thea, the woman I love more than my life had to go through all this alone.”
By the time I was done Florentine was already soaked in tears.
“Angel I’m really sorry….”
“Don’t….” I gritted putting a finger out to warn her. “Don’t, say, a fucking thing!”
I stress every word and turned around angrily.
I was going to Thea’s room, how do I even face her or begin to apologize for what I did. All the pains I caused her, how do I redeem myself?
I knew I was going to open a wound she was probably trying to heal but we really needed to have this conversation.