Broken
Sean told me he knew my whereabouts, and I guess it is because of Sam. He planted Sam in my life so he could keep his eyes on me all the time.
I giggled, thinking how they all fooled me, and Nathan looked at me with a worried expression on his face while we were both standing and waiting for the lift.
I kept thinking about eluding myself.
Nathan started walking out, holding my hand, when he noticed I was a bit better, but I was anything but better.
Halting my steps, I look down while Nathan looks back at my standing figure.
“What happened? Let us go; we are going to Australia right now,” Nathan said while gritting his teeth.
“I need to be alone for some time, Nathan.’ I said this while still looking at the floor.
“I will never, ever leave you alone. You get that?” He said this while holding my arm angrily.
“This is my war, and I have to fight alone.” I said it sternly.
“This is our war, and we will fight together.” He held my elbow.
I know Nathan can be stubborn if he wants, but right now I need to be alone, and he needs to understand that.
I look up and look into his eyes. My teary eyes connected to his fierce eyes, but they got softer the moment he looked into mine.
“Please?” I said it in a pleading tone.
Ok, but promise me you will pick up my phone.” He said this while holding my palms in his.
I nodded in agreement, and with no word, I started walking, and I knew he was still standing there looking at my discarding figure.
I walk and walk. I do not know where, but I stopped and looked around the busy streets of New York. Where few are walking and running to work, few are clicking pictures with their partner, few are looking for visitors, and few are here for shopping. I look around and see all the happy and busy faces.
And me? Well, again, I am standing like a stupid person, thinking the world is with me, but reality hit me when the truth rubbed on my face, saying I am still and will be lonely.
**
I took two steps back while looking at them all, shocked, and my breath got stuck in my lungs.
I held the light pole near me to keep myself from falling, and tears streamed down from my eyes.
I again padded toward where my feet took me. My mind has shut down, as have my heart and body. My blurry vision is not giving me an idea of anything my heart knows the way to.
For the first time, I feel numb.
I am feeling a pain that I have never felt before. Not even when the last person I called mine, My grandmother, passed away, leaving me alone in this world to fight.
It feels like so many bullets have pierced my hearing, and now I am bleeding. I am bleeding so badly, and my blood is coming out of my body in the form of tears.
‘What have I done with people? Why does everyone want to take advantage of me?’ I thought of walking on a windy street.
I know why he wants an heir: so he can take complete charge of the property my grandpa left for me.
But he could have asked me. I would have given him a happy reason to do this drama of love and care, attachment, and all.
And now he wants my innocent child to be in his scene too?
I think people are too practical, and that is true. I am too emotional for my own good, but what they do not know is that it is not for good; it is for bad.
My feet took me to my grandmother, and I sat there while cleaning the dry leaf, which I cleared only yesterday.
The smiling flowers have a sadness about their dryness, just like my heart.
Sadness of dying.
Just like I am dying.
“Do you remember Granny? I told you yesterday how happy I am.” I said this while sitting on the ground, putting my head on her tomb, and closing my eyes.
This made me feel like I was in her lap.
“I was lying not because I wanted to lie to you but because I was in a myth.
The myth of being with someone
The myth of being loved
The myth of not being lonely anymore” I started laughing like a maniac while tears strolled down my cheeks to my chest.
“But you Almighty, have written my destiny with a sour mood, I guess. He was so busy putting so much pain in that he forgot a small amount of happiness.” I said, and a hiccup leached out of my mouth.
“It hurts, Granny; it hurts a lot.” I said this while hugging her tomb.
“It hurts here, granny.” I showed her my heart.
Why are you not calling me Granny? “Why are you not talking to the Almighty? He will listen to you because, as usual, he hates me, and he will never listen to me.” I tighten my hold on the tomb.
This is all fake. People fake that I do not want to be part of this world anymore, granny. Please call me to your world, please.” I pleaded with her while sobbing as loud as I could.
“Do you know I have become the one you wanted? I made my name the way you wanted, but now I have nothing to do in my life. I had only a dream to fulfill your dream, and now I am done with my duty. Please call me, please, Granny.” I whined like a child.
She is the only one I had and still have. I thought she was not with me, but I could feel it, and she was always around me. I know she is watching me. I know she is taking care of me. I know she will never let me feel as lonely as I can be.
“I have never thought you would be selfish like others. Now you also want to discard me the way everyone did in my life?” I said it venomously.
“You also want to make me feel how unwanted I am in this world?” I asked her, feeling fragmented.
“Can you not do that please, Granny?” Can you please be with me forever and ever?” I begged her.
“I just want to hold you in my arms once. Please let me into your world, granny, please.” I beseech her. I know she is listening to me. I know that.
Sarah my child. I look around with fuller eyes, hearing the voice I will never forget in this life.
And I saw her.
She is sitting beside me wearing a peach sundress, looking as elegant as ever.
Granny, is it you?” I ask in my shaky voice.
“It is me, my darling.” She said this, holding my hand.
And it felt surreal. Nineteen thousand hundred seventy
She is here for real.
“Oh granny!” I leapt on her, feeling her hand in real life. Gosh, it is still so soft and warm.
“Why did you leave me alone? I complain to the only person I have in my life.Exclusive © content by N(ô)ve/l/Drama.Org.
I felt warmth after an age while being in her arms. I missed being in her embrace.
“I never left you, my child. I was always with you. Do you not know this?” She asked me with her sweet voice, which reached my ears like a melody.
She was creasing my hair, and I was not losing my tight hold on her while fearing she might leave me again.
I know she is not real. I am hallucinating, but it feels surreal, and I want to enjoy this moment as much as I can.
“Can you take me with you this time, please?” I do not want to be part of this mean world.
“Darling, I know you are broken this time, but this is not the end yet. Your time hasn’t come. You have a long life ahead.” Her soft hands were doing magic on my body while she creased them lovingly.
“No, Granny, I am done here. That is it. Please, I want to go with you, please.” I said, and my hiccups had speeded up.
“No, darling not yet. You have a long way to go. Live your life the way you want.” She said this while I felt her soft lips on my forehead.
“There must be someone very special waiting for my princess somewhere.” She giggles at her joke, and I scoff at hearing this.
**