Married to the mafia boss Series

“Good morning,” Gaetano’s voice startles me out of the sleep I didn’t know I entered.

“What time is it?” I didn’t need a mirror to know my hair is sticking up tangled with a mess of bedhead.

“Eight,” he stands and stretches his naked body. He walks over to his closet grabbing a black silk robe and tying it loosely at his waist.

Gaetano rummages through a drawer in his desk and pulls something out. All I can think of is, please don’t be a gun. He sits down on the bed next to me and hands me a small black box.

“It’s your engagement ring.”

I pull out a gold band with a massive circle diamond in the middle, accompanied by three small diamonds on each side. “Wow. It’s stunning. Thank you.” Expensive looking too. This is my third engagement ring and I can easily say this is the most beautiful one I’ve owned.

“I’m not getting any younger, Arabella. I have decided that I want our wedding soon.”

“How soon?” I cock one of my eyebrows.

“A week from today. It will be at the church and it will be a small gathering-family members and mafiosi only.”

“A week doesn’t give me enough time to plan anything. What about my dress? What about-”

“I got your measurements already and put in an order for your dress by one of the finest designers in all of Italy. As for the other minor decorations like details going into the reception, the cake, the flowers, it is all taken care of. I just want you to relax your pretty little head. Soon you’ll be Mrs. Arabella Cobuzzi.”

Out of everything I have ever been, Arabella D’Amico and Arabella Ricci, Arabella Moretti has always been my favorite.

“What about the guests? Don’t they need more time to find travel arrangements? I mean what about my family back in Chicago?” I begin to panic.

“Your family in Chicago will not be attending,” he shakes his head.

“What?” I shout outraged.

“Arabella, darling, this is your third wedding. It’s not that big of a deal. It’s just going to be a small ceremony and then right after we can keep trying for a baby if last night didn’t work.”

I am going to be sick.

“I have work today. Either you can stay here and help yourself to whatever you like, or I can take you back to the main house. I’m sure you want a fresh change of clothes.”

“Taking me back to the main house is just fine,” I avoid his eye-contact as I collect my clothing off the floor and put it back on. Already I feel the shame of last night and putting these clothes back on…

Walking back up to my room will be like taking a walk of shame. I wish I could curl up into a ball and just disappear for a few days, just until I can wrap my mind around everything and figure out how to cope. Last night was a glimpse into what the rest of my life will be like, and it’s not something I want.

***

If anyone sees me running from the car to my bedroom, I have no idea. I am too busy staring at the floor. I can’t handle having someone look at me with judging eyes. I can’t handle Lazzaro looking at me and approving of what I had to do for the sake of the family. I most certainly can’t endure running into Carmelo and seeing the hurt and betrayed in his eyes.

With lightning speed I open my door and slam it shut. I pound my fists against the door and cry against it letting my forehead kiss the cool wood.

“Arabella?” Carmelo’s concerned voice comes from behind me.

“Carmelo?” I turn around quickly to see him standing near the balcony doors. I wipe away the tears in my eyes not wanting to look weak or pathetic. “Hey, what are you doing here?”

“I’ve been worried about you? Are you… okay?” He walks over to me and grabs my hands. “Did he hurt you?”

“The wedding is in a week. I thought I had more time,” I hyperventilate. “I-I thought…” I place my hand over my fast-paced heart and can’t suppress the sob that chokes out of me.

“Shhhh,” he holds me. “We will figure something out.”

“There’s nothing to figure out!” I yell at him. “Nothing! This is my life! You-you can’t protect me! You can’t keep your promise! I am now his property and there’s nothing you can do about it!” Even though I’m taking my frustration out on him, I regret directing it toward him. Carmelo has always done his best and I’m lost in a new type of despair that is crippling me.

“I think you should go take a shower, calm down, put on some fresh clothes and then we can talk.”

And I do just that.

The warm water doesn’t wash away the violation of Gaetano. I already knew it wasn’t going to, scorching hot showers were the first thing I used to do whenever Leonardo would molest me. Nothing can wash away the feel of their hands on my skin, the residual stickiness of their come, or the feel of their breath or pants in my ear. The phantom memory of being violated stays with you forever and no number of showers will wash it away.

I have to admit getting out of the dress, shoes, and lace underwear and bra feels good. Cotton gray sweatpants and a blue T-shirt are comforting against my bruised skin. I tie my wet hair in a bun and open the bathroom door leading to my bedroom. Steam from the bathroom pools out in the room and Carmelo is still there waiting for me.

“Arabella,” Carmelo starts but I hold up my hand stopping him.

“I don’t want to talk about it, please.”

“Your grandfather is getting worse. They don’t think he has much time left.”

My world crashes to halt and then shatters into a million pieces. I thought I had more time. I thought I had more conversations to share and more memories to learn. Even though my Nonno and I aren’t close, I thought this was our second chance. He can’t be taken away from me this quickly, we were just starting to catch up. He was just starting to be the grandfather I always wanted.

I rush down the corridor and barge straight into my grandfather’s room. Lazzaro stands from the chair at Nonno’s bedside and gives me a sad look. A look that tells me he’s at the very end of his life. I shut the door behind me and ignore Lazzaro, this is about my grandfather. I grad his cold, wrinkled hand and squeeze it gently. His eyes crack open, his chapped lips parted.

“Bella, you came back,” he croaks.

“Of course I did, Nonno. I’m right here.”

“You have her eyes.”

I make sure to keep my eyes fixated on him because they are seemingly giving him comfort. He stares at me like he’s seeing me for the first time. His lips curl in a smile, making him look younger.

“What can I do for you, Nonno?”

“Get everyone,” he talks slowly, “Make sure they are here for my passing. They will read my will and I need everyone to know who is officially in charge when I go,” his eyes dart over to Lazzaro.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

Lazzaro puffs out his chest and raises his chin exuding confidence and power. “I will do my best to make the family proud.”

“I know you will. It is why I chose you,” his eyes start closing but he fights to stay awake. “Go call everyone. Tell them it’s time,” he gives Lazzaro the orders and he nods exiting the room.

I sit down in the chair and continuing to hold onto Nonno’s hand. I’m afraid to let go, afraid that at any minute our time will be cut short. I have so much still to say, so much still to ask.

“There’s something on your mind, Bella. What is bothering you?”

I try to force the tears away, but they pool at my eyes and my vision blurs. “Why couldn’t we have had a good relationship when I was little?”

He sighs. I know he said it was a big regret, but as a young girl I felt like he cared about the four oldest boys more than he did Christina and I. It never bothered my older sister, but it always bothered me. “You were my precious little girl. Yes, I know Christina is also my granddaughter but she was never like you. You were this ray of sunshine, this strong force. Whenever I would come over Christina would go off and do her own thing and you… you were always near me,” he takes a deep breath. “I am a wanted man by many, it comes with the job as you very well know. I used to fear for my wife’s life every day and I guess after her death I swore to never fall in love with another like how I fell in love with you.

“Then here you were, you looked just like her and acted just like her and with every visit I watched you grow. I watched you grow and became terrified that if my enemies knew just how much you meant to me, they would take you from me.”

I wipe the tears flowing down my cheeks. “I forgive you.”

I hear him take a sharp intake of breath and then a relieving exhale. “Thank you.”

“Oh, Nonno,” I throw myself over him, hugging him, “I wish we had more time.”

“Me too, Bella. But I will be with my wife soon and I will look over you.”