My Hockey Alpha



Chapter 0815

Nina

I sank down heavily into the plush chair behind my father's mahogany desk, letting out a long exhale as I tried to get comfortable. My back was aching something fierce from being on my feet all day, the extra weight of the baby making it feel like I was carrying a bowling ball in my belly.

Meetings, negotiations, policy reviews... the duties of a queen never seemned to end. I rubbed my temples wearily, wondering how in the world my father had handled this level of responsibility day in and day out for over a century.

He had always made it look so effortless, like he was born for the role of the Alpha King. Whereas I felt adrift, struggling to keep my head above water most days. And I knew it would get even worse once I went back to school and had the baby, too. Talk about high blood pressure.

Suddenly, the creak of the door opening made me glance up. My mother slipped inside, a steaming mug of tea in her hands and a soft smile on her face.

"I thought you might need this," she said, crossing the room to set the mug on the desk in front of me." Chamomile with honey, just how you like it."

I returned her smile gratefully, wrapping my hands around the warm mug almost immediately. "Thank you, Mom. You're a lifesaver."

Angelica settled herself in the chair across from me with a thoughtful look. "Long day?"

"Doesn't the lengthening shadow under my eyes give it away?" I chuckled dryly, taking a sip of the tea and wincing as it burned my tongue.

Rather than laughing along, my mother's expression turned serious. "Nina... I know this hasn't been easy for you." I opened my mouth to protest, but she held up a hand to stop me.

"No, let me finish." She leaned forward earnestly. "Becoming a ruler at all is an incredible challenge, let alone in the midst of everything else you have going on in your life right now. I can't imagine how overwhelmed you must feel sometimes."

My shoulders sagged as the fight drained out of me. As usual, my mother had cut straight through to the heart of the matter with striking clarity.

"You're right," I admitted in a small voice, absently rubbing my belly. "I don't know if I can do this, Mom. Be a good queen, a good Luna, while also being a medical student and a mother soon... The coronation hasn't happened yet, and I'll admit part of me is considering finding a replacement before that happens so I can just... walk away."

I trailed off, shaking my head as doubts and fears I had been pushing down for months bubbled up to the surface. "Nina," 'my mom said softly, "you don't mean that."

I shook my head. "Of course not. But I just feel so lost half the time, like I'm stumbling around blindly with no clue what I'm doing. How did Dad make it all look so easy?"

To my surprise, Angelica let out a wry chuckle at that. When I furrowed my brow at her, she reached across the desk to pat my hand consolingly.noveldrama

"Oh, Nina... your father spent his entire reign doubting himself, just like you are now."

My eyes widened at that unexpected admission. Surely she was mistaken the great Aldric had always seemed so confident, so self-assured, even from the few memories I had of him.

Seeming to read my skepticism, my mother's expression turned wistful. "It's true. I may not have known him for long, but for as long as I did know him, Aldric was questioning his decisions, calling himself a failure for every misstep, big or small."

She shook her head slowly. "He never believed he was cut out to be king. Said on more than one occasion that he should just find a replacement and go somewhere far, far away."

Slumped back in my chair, I could only gape at her, struggling to reconcile this portrait of self-doubt with the strong, assured image of my father that lived on in my mind's eye.