My Most Precious Human

Coping with the pain

I sat on the bed motionless, thoughts spinning inside my head. I was forcing the air into my lungs as if I

was squeezing it in through a thin straw. An insufficient level of oxygen made my head spin.

"That can't be true. The child isn't his." Those two sentences played on repeat inside my mind,

protecting my heart from breaking into pieces.

My mantra worked slowly, soothing my heart rate and loosening my chest. The logical part of my brain

restarted.

"I need to call Sariel…" I mumbled to myself.

I stared at the phone for more than a minute before my trembling hand managed to pick his number

from my extremely short list of contacts. I made the call. Hearing the waiting signals was tormenting. I

was taking long breaths, trying to exhale them slowly, but it didn't ease my anxiety. He didn't answer. A

heartbeat later, I called again… and then again. I might have been irrational and too demanding, but I

thought that I was going to fall apart if I didn't hear his voice. I gave up after the twelfth unanswered

call. I wrote a text instead.

"Is Elora carrying your child?" It took me a while before I gathered the courage to press send.

I waited for any kind of reply for a few minutes without any results.

I wrote another message, "I'm begging you. I need to know if she is pregnant with your child."

No response. I told myself that I was being unreasonable and that he could have been in the middle of

a life and death battle, but it didn't lessen the pain nor ease my anxieties. I stared at the phone, silently

praying for a response. I knew that I wouldn't focus on anything until he wrote back.

I called Martha again after I forced my brain to function, constantly taking deep breaths to steady my

heartbeat.

"Hi…" I muttered weakly.

I regretted hanging up on her before, but after her news crushed me, I wasn't in a state where I could

continue our conversation.

"I'm sorry, Lilith," she wept as if she wanted to share my pain. "I didn't mean to drop it like a bomb on

you, but I did exactly that. All I know is that King Sariel loves you and that it was stupid of me to let you

doubt him and believe that he could cheat on you…"

"I called… him," I squeezed through my throat.

"And?" I could hear her holding her breath.

"He didn't answer my call." I swallowed and immediately started rationalizing. "He may not even know

about Elora's pregnancy. He's in the middle of the fight, leading a huge army against bloodthirsty

creatures. It is only natural that he didn't reply right away… right?"

"Of course!" Martha burst into nervous laughter, which quickly faded as she paused in hesitation.

"Except for the fact that degenerates are incredibly allergic to sunlight… So the fights would mostly

happen at night time…"

I was so focused on finding an excuse for Sariel that my mind ignored the obvious. It was still at least

two hours before sunset.

"But… I'm sure he has other, important things to do. Managing an army must be time-consuming,"

Martha quickly added.

"It is, isn't it?" I forced out a chuckle, hoping to prove myself that I wasn't mortified by Sariel's lack of

reply. "But… I can't stop thinking that if Sariel and Elora had never slept together, Sariel could easily

accuse her of treason… What could she possibly gain from telling a lie?"

Martha cleared her throat. "Well, first of all, the King cannot announce that he has never slept with his

own queen. They would question his manhood, you know?"

"Fucking politics…" I cursed under my breath.

I knew she was right. It wouldn't matter that it was a strictly political marriage. The nobles approved of

Elora's being on the throne because she was supposed to give birth to a perfect heir. If Sariel stood

before them announcing that he hadn't been even trying to make Elora pregnant, it would mean

political suicide, not to mention that everyone would question his ability to produce offspring. Of course,

the case would be different if the DNA tests proved that the child wasn't Sariel's… but it would require

time and his presence at the castle, which was quite impossible since he was in the middle of a war.

"Don't worry, Lilith." Martha's smiling voice felt like a balm over my troubled heart. "The King will call

you, or text you back, and then everything will be better." She tried to coax me, but I could sense

something wavering in her tone.

I bet she was restless like me. She wanted me to be with Sariel like no one else in the world, and I

knew that if I got hurt because of him, she would hurt too.

"It will be better. I just need to wait," I said, shoving a smile into my voice.

"That's the spirit!" she sang. "Now, don't sit with the phone in your hand. I know that it is your only day

off before heading toward your father's pack territory, so use it to relax," she advised.

"I will," I promised as I ended the call.

I put the phone on the bedside cabinet, struggling to let it go, but I told myself that I was doing it for my

sanity. I needed to prepare myself for the battle. My life could depend on my focus. I didn't have the

time to deliberate about how screwed up my love life was. I knew it all, but I was still unable to think

about anything aside from Sariel and Elora's pregnancy.

Shoving away the urge to constantly check my phone I walked out of my room. I went for a walk,

wandering across Sagreville's streets. Despite the promise I made to Martha, I couldn't relax. My

breath was shallow, and I was on the edge of losing my senses. The waiting was unbearable. I was

passing by a grocery store when I heard a familiar voice.

"Hello, little Princess," Nera chuckled, walking towards me with filled shopping bags.

"Hello, Nera." I stretched my lips as far as I could to give her a smile, but I probably wasn't convincing

at all

She narrowed her eyes, searching through my face until she handed me one of her bags and tossed,

"Walk with me."

I had no better things to do, so I shrugged and followed her. She led me to her home, which was a

small wooden house built right by the forest. She told me to bring the shopping bag into her kitchen.

Once I did, she ordered me to sit by the large wooden table standing in the middle, and she started

cooking.

"You need food," she said, like a doctor prescribing medicine for her patient.

I didn't argue. I smiled weakly, concentrating on breathing and not-thinking. My restlessness

temporarily dissolved as all kinds of delicious smells began reaching my nostrils. My heartbeat became

steady, and my muscles released their tension. Nera grabbed two plates, placed a scoop of rice on

one, then dipped the ladle in the pot of curry she made and poured it over the rice. She did the same

with the other plate and put both of them on the table.

"Dig in," she commanded, handing me a spoon and a fork and sitting beside me at the table.

I nodded and obediently started stuffing food into my mouth. As I swallowed the first bite, my tears

began to fall down my cheeks. I tried brushing them away, but they kept coming to my eyes. Nera

glanced at me but said nothing. As my weeping turned to a wider stream of uncontrolled tears, she got

up and brought me a tissue.

"Thank you," I mumbled, chewing the food that had mixed with tears.

"Mind telling me who broke your heart?" she asked after she decided that I had cried enough.

I looked at her, pondering whether I should tell her that I was in love with a vampire or not. Then I

figured that Nera didn't seem to be a narrow-minded person.

"The vampire king…" I muttered, gathering the courage to tell her everything. "He saved my life more

than once… I'm still in love with him…"

She placed her elbows on the table, her hands supporting her chin. "It's never easy to love a king," she

sighed, "Sometimes a king has to make a decision that hurts his loved ones. Then he says that he

does it for the so-called greater cause…"

"I've been hurt like this before. That is why I chose to join the Moon Hill Pack," I explained.

"Does this vampire love you?" she inquired, with an almost therapeutic tone.

"He says so," I said faintly.

"And how did he hurt you this time?" Her eyes glittered with curiosity and had a magical ability that took

away the weight of words.

"He might have a child with another woman… the queen," I replied, surprising myself with how

composed I became.

"Does he love her?" She sounded like a skilled interrogator, coaxing me to say every painful thing

without losing my sanity.

"No."

"Is it a political marriage?"

"Yes."

Nera heaved a long sigh, "Then it was the king's duty to produce an heir. Tell me… what is truly hurting

you in all of this?"

I took a deep breath. "If the queen carries his child, that will mean that he lied to me about sleeping

with her… and if he lied about it, then I wouldn't know if I could trust him with everything else he said."

Nera nodded, taking a moment to process my response. "That is wise thinking." She leaned over me

and gently rubbed my cheek. Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.

"But I love him…" I muttered breathlessly.

"Then why did you leave him?" She smirked daringly.

"I don't know anymore…" I rubbed the aching part of my chest. "He hurt me. Maybe I wanted him to

have a taste of his own poison by leaving with Alpha Draven, who claims that I am his mate…?" I

gazed at her, my eyes asking for advice.

But instead of guidance, Nera asked, "Did you feel that Draven is your mate?"

"No… but I wanted to. I think I wanted to find a destined love, a love without pain. This is what drew me

to Draven."

Nera burst out into ironic laughter. "There is no love without pain! It's just a matter of whether you can

take it or not. If the pain is unbearable and it breaks you, then you weren't meant to be together. But if

you can get through the pain, your love can grow stronger." Her lips smiled warmly, but her eyes

betrayed sadness.

I guessed she knew the exact meaning of the words she said. I grabbed her hand and mouthed,

"Thank you." I couldn't tell if I was more ready to hear Sariel's reply after my conversation with Nera,

but perhaps I was able to process it less painfully.

I went back to the hotel. My heart started to race again as soon as I saw my phone. Swallowing hard, I

grabbed it and faced the screen, only to find the notification field empty. I collapsed on the bed, and

clenching my fist, decided to make another attempt at calling Sariel. Just like before, he didn't answer. I

began to lose my mind again. Had something happened to him? Why hadn't he replied for so long? I

texted him again.

"Sariel, please. At least let me know that you are alive…"

With a frustrated, sharp exhale, I put the phone on my bed and started taking off my clothes before

getting into the shower. I managed to take my shirt off when the message came.

"I'm fine."

And another message almost right away.

"Elora's child is mine."