PREGNANT AFTER ONE NIGHT STAND

As usual, I didn’t wait for Cedric to arrive in front of my desk when office hours ended. He would always be standing not far away. I once asked him about his remaining tasks in the evening, and he said they were taken care of by the other OB. There are two OBs here, but I’m not really familiar with the other one. I rarely go to the twenty-first floor except to prepare for us, the staff here, and clean the area.

His name is Jack. Since this morning, I’ve noticed him wandering around the twenty-first floor. He’s been called a few times to help with various things, including helping me. I couldn’t carry several folders from the finance division at once, so he assisted me. It seems like Jack is talkative. He always has something to ask, even though I might not always want to answer his questions. It’s not that I’m being arrogant; I’m just not a big fan of small talk unless it’s with someone I know well.

Jack is relatively new, and even though Cedric has been working here longer, I can’t help but notice Jack more. I let out a long sigh as I glance at the digital clock on my phone. My desk is tidy, my computer is turned off, and Anna left for home several minutes ago. As for Krystal, my beautiful boss, she hasn’t been in the office all day. Anna said she had some personal matters to attend to.

Since I’m used to Anna relaying information about Krystal, I’m not too concerned. Instead, I’m increasingly worried about Cedric’s absence from the office. No news at all. Not a single reply to any of my messages. I’m still making desperate phone calls in between work. I feel guilty and I wish my lips could confess my wrongdoing, but I’m not entirely sure if I’ll be able to do that if I were to face Cedric right now. I hate being ignored like this. It feels uncomfortable.

The one thing I’m grateful for after my tearful breakdown, which left my eyes swollen, is that my baby is calm. I call my baby “Baby” for now, as we don’t know the gender yet and haven’t decided on a nickname like  (Darling) or anything else. This morning, Baby didn’t act up at all. My stomach didn’t suddenly cramp or feel nauseous again. Even the sandwich I had for breakfast, which was just a little, didn’t cause any objections or cravings. It didn’t stimulate my brain to request anything.

Does Baby know that its mother is worried about its father? I let out a soft sigh. This thought makes me sad, and I feel like crying again. I expected Cedric to appear from behind the corridor, but I don’t hear the sound of his footsteps. I glance at my watch; it’s almost six in the evening. Still, there’s no sign of him. I give up and drag my feet with no enthusiasm towards the time clock to clock out. I can still hear some staff lingering, probably working overtime or waiting to avoid heavy traffic. It’s common in Washington DC during rush hour, but it’s manageable.

This evening, I’ll drive home by myself. Naomi said she had some business at the hospital. I suppose I should schedule a day to visit her father. We’re not very close, but every time I talk to him, it quenches my thirst for a father’s love a little. Mr. Susilo is not one to talk much. When he does offer some wisdom, his words always leave a lasting impact on me.

As for Dona, she hurriedly left because her boyfriend was sick in Bandung. I can already predict that she’ll be absent or take sudden leave tomorrow. Well, it’s her business. As long as her performance is good, I don’t think Krystal would mind. It’s Dona’s right as an employee.

In the elevator, some familiar staff greet me with casual greetings. I smile and respond briefly to their questions. My thoughts are still filled with hope that Cedric might be waiting for me in the basement, standing by the car. Maybe… who knows, right? Anything is possible.

But hope is just hope. There’s no sign of him when I arrive in front of the car. Before getting in, I take a moment to check my phone. It’s not good to use the phone while driving or responding to messages. It’s dangerous, and I’m well aware of that. When I used to drive alone frequently, my phone would just lie there. Even if someone called me while I was focused on the steering wheel, I’d ignore it. There’s only one exception, and that’s Krystal Blaxton. If she calls, it means it’s urgent and needs a fast response. No time to beat around the bush. If her name appears, I’d pull over if possible. If not, I’d put her on loudspeaker. I don’t really like using hands-free for some reason. I don’t know why.

I thought there would be a reply there, but there isn’t. Cedric is truly ignoring me.

***

For dinner tonight, I deliberately stopped by a curry rice restaurant. I don’t know why, but I really wanted to eat rice that’s still steaming, topped with yellow curry sauce and flavorful spice mix with pieces of meat. Don’t forget the hot tea. Oh my God! Just thinking about it makes me salivate so much.

While waiting, I pass the time by playing with my phone. I update Naomi on what I’m doing now. Did I mention that girl is chatty? Especially since she knows I’m having issues with Cedric. If it weren’t for her father being in the hospital, she would have surely accompanied me to the apartment. But honestly, I don’t really need that from her. I understand that Naomi needs to be with her father.

But when it comes to dealing with her stepmother, they never seem to get along. She wants to be dutiful to her father, but her stepmother interferes too much in Naomi’s personal affairs. Especially with questions like, “When are you getting married? Before your father passes away.”

If I were Naomi, I might have already stuck a smelly unwashed sock in that woman’s mouth. Saying she’s a bit much wouldn’t be an understatement. Who does she think she is, deciding when someone should die?

Naomi: Alright, eat a lot. Buy some fruits or snacks. If you can’t drive tomorrow, I’ll pick you up. Let me know at dawn. Take care. And remember, don’t speed.

I smile a little reading her message. And right on cue, my order arrives. Well… just as I expected. It looks delicious and appetizing. What surprises me is that I end up finishing two portions of rice and an additional grilled fish. My stomach is surprisingly calm. I’m sure Baby must have been hungry, that’s why we had such a big dinner. I hope it won’t cause any trouble at night. I’m a bit traumatized from eating a lot and then throwing up as soon as I reached the apartment.

“Anya?”

I turn and am quite surprised to see Dewa here. I’ve already finished eating, and I don’t want to sit too long in the restaurant. It’s a bit stuffy and there’s the smell of cigarette smoke from other customers, which is a bit annoying. Dewa approaches me as I stand, waiting to pay.

“Wow, didn’t expect to run into you here.”

The guy looks quite handsome wearing that Superman logo t-shirt, and he chuckles. “I should have said the same thing. How have you been, Anya? You rarely have lunch at my café.”

Dewa means the café we used to visit often. Among the three of us, only Dona really enjoys eating there. She claims that the taste and portion are just to her liking. But I think it’s just an excuse to ogle Dewa as much as she likes.

“Busy with work,” I say casually. I ask the cashier briefly, order what I want, pay, and then head to my car. I want to go home. I don’t really care about meeting Dewa.

“See you later,” I say after receiving my package from the cashier. Dewa just nods and smiles a little.

This is better, right? No burdens, and even if we happen to meet again, chat together, or simply sit at the same table sipping a cup of coffee, there won’t be any strange feelings, at least not from Dewa, who has given up on any hope. I’m pretty sure there’s nothing there anymore. As I’m about to open my car door, I glimpse through the rearview mirror that Dewa is not alone. My heart warms up. At least he’s not drowning in sorrow because of my rejection, right?

“Baby, if your dad were here, Mama would make him some milk first. And then ask him to take his vitamins,” I say softly, focusing on driving. With one hand, I gently caress my stomach. The car’s audio plays in the background, accompanying us.

Thoughts of Cedric come flooding back again. From the very beginning, actually. When he came to replace one of the OBs who left because they had to take care of their sick parents in the village. I was touched by the story of these young people working hard in the big city, making their parents so proud.

Unlike me, who was abandoned for who knows what reason.Content from NôvelDr(a)ma.Org.

If now Cedric leaves me, because I made a mistake, right? Without even asking or hearing my explanation, right? Isn’t it expected in a relationship to at least give someone a chance to explain when something happens? Even though my mind was messed up when I once wished for Baby to disappear from my womb, I still accepted Cedric’s presence, albeit reluctantly at first.

And now?

I’m not sure anymore. Will he leave me again just as I’m starting to nurture a glimmer of hope for a new life?

***