The Alpha’s Dark Revenge

Liyah’s POV

I jumped up from my bed as soon as my alarm rang. I had been awake for about an hour already and was just waiting patiently for an excuse to get out of bed. The possibility that I might have a wolf was enough to keep me permanently excited.

As soon as I was done getting ready for the day, I unzipped the suitcase Margaret had gotten me to find something suitable to wear. I paused in the middle of ransacking the suitcase. What was I even supposed to wear for a session on self-defence? I’ve never had any sort of training, so what? I thought of asking Margaret for help but it was too early to go see her, so I decided on a pair of stretchy jeans, a tank top, and sneakers. When I felt ready, I tied my hair to the back and made my way to the training ground. He had told me to be there by 7am and I was already ten minutes late. I couldn’t help but feel very nervous.

I immediately saw him unpacking some equipment from a bag when I arrived. Watching him made me realize what training with him actually entailed, and yes I had begun to see him more clearly, but that didn’t mean that I was thrilled to be around him. For a second, I stood on the brink of changing my mind. Maybe all of this was a mistake.

“You’re here,” His voice broke me out of my reverie.

I fought the urge to scurry away from the sound of his voice. I hadn’t been expecting it. Taking a deep breath, I moved forward. “Yes. I had trouble finding what to wear…” I trailed off.

He nodded, motioning to the bag he had been ransacking. “Before we dive into self-defence, we’ll have to focus on warm-up, full body training, and your flexibility. When you’re done with all of that, then we can start the training.”

“Okay,” I nodded, trying my hardest to shake off my anxiety. Slowly, he walked me through a few warm-up moves, then started to work on my stances and posture. Before long, I had begun to sweat heavily.

“You need to arch your back… no, not that,” Nikolai said as he watched me try to master a stance. Before I could comprehend what was happening, he had walked toward me, placing one hand on my bare waist and pushing in.This belongs © NôvelDra/ma.Org.

“NO!”

I jumped back in fear, goosebumps spreading over my skin as it made contact with his. I raised my hand in protest as he tried to come close, alarm evident on his face.

I just need to breathe. I need to breathe…

Just breathe.

It had happened so suddenly I was taken my surprise. And he had held me in a grip so firm it brought back unpleasant memories. I couldn’t stop my heart from racing as I faced him. Maybe I had underrated my level of tolerance. I thought I could handle this… but it turns out I can’t. It was all too much. I had to quit. I needed to..

I watched him rake his fingers through his hair as he moved a good distance away from me. “I think it would be best to take a breather.”

“Liyah,” I heard him call out as I began to back away to find a good spot to rest in. I turned back, curious.

“I know nothing I say will change what I did, or make you feel better. And every time I see you jump back or shrink away from me, it only makes me realize just how unsafe you feel around me, and the terrible mistake that I made. And I’ll never forgive myself for it.”

For the first time, I saw him do things I had never imagined him doing; his fingers clenching and unclenching as he fidgeted, his voice low and quiet, the shame in his eyes that he didn’t try to conceal.

“I am so sorry, for everything I put you through. I was selfish and cowardly, and I let my emotions get the better of me. I’m sorry for putting you through hell. I’m sorry for making you feel like you weren’t important, like you were a nobody. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

I could only stare.

“After what happened with Elle, I should’ve been the one person who understands how it is to be punished for someone else’s crime. But I didn’t. You have every right to hate me, and I deserve much worse than that. I just wish I could take it all back… all of it.”

There was silence for a few moments. As I stared at him, I couldn’t exactly describe how I was feeling. It was almost like a burning in my chest.

“You know, the fact that you thought that inflicting that much pain on me was going to make you and my father even was such a disgusting idea that it makes you just as bad as him. Even if I was Barbara… you stooped to his level, and you were no better than him. Vengeance should be on the person who hurt you, and it’s a good idea to leave his descendants out of it.”

I saw the surprise in his eyes as he looked up at me, but I didn’t stop. The other day when I’d tried to comfort him in the car, I had cast and forgotten all the pain he caused me, and I was so caught up in his pain, that I ignored my feelings.

“I’ve listened to your side of the story, and the Goddess knows I completely understand why you want your revenge, but you did so many despicable things, and still it didn’t even get you halfway where you wanted to be. Things I don’t think your wife would be happy about. You claim you were doing all of this for her, but this has to be the most selfish thing I have ever heard. Did you for once sit down and think about how Elle would feel about all of this?”

I saw the familiar expression of anger whenever someone mentioned her name form on his face.

I raised my hand to stop him when he tried to speak. “Let me finish.” I needed to let all of this out.

“What did you expect?” I asked, wincing as the pain in my chest increased tenfold. “That you could just walk up and give an apology and then everything would be okay?” I scoffed.

“Oh hey, Liyah. I’m sorry for abducting you, torturing you, starving you to the brink of death and then snatching your dignity away. Let’s be friends. And then we’d hug and make up and be one big freaking happy family?”

I felt tears sting the back of my eyes but I decided I’d be damned before I let them fall.

“After everything you did, you think standing there and serving up an apology will change it all in flash? So you don’t think it’s selfish that the reason why you did all of this was because you were in a bad place? I was in a bad place too. And when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, you came, and you showed me just how wrong I was.” I gave a bitter laugh.

But I watched him stand there shamefully and listen to me without a word. And although I was sad and angry and hurt, I knew that he truly was sorry, and his apology was sincere.

I took another deep breath and faced him.

“What you did was heartless and inhuman,” I paused. “But I understand.”

His head whipped up in shock at my words and I could see the surprise in his eyes.

“It doesn’t justify anything whatsoever, but I understand. Pain and guilt can drive you to do things you never thought you would. It eats at you, and before you know it, you don’t even realize what you’re becoming. How you talk about her… I can see just how much you loved her. And seeing her murdered right in front of you, and not being able to do anything about it… I can’t imagine just how traumatic that must have been for you.”

And I really couldn’t. I knew I would never recover if something like that happened to me. And the fact that he was in so much pain that he couldn’t even share his grief with his friends. Bottling it all up inside until he finally exploded. All I saw as I looked at him was a man eating himself up. He let pain and vengeance eat him inside out. And now he wasn’t even sure what he was doing anymore.

He looked so torn up and broken.

“It’s not entirely your fault.”

He looked taken aback by my words. I nodded.

“If my Father was a good man and a better person, things would have turned out differently. His actions pushed you to do all of this. He made this… this monster inside of you. But you’re better than him. You identified that you did something wrong and you took responsibility for it. That shows your sincerity and your willingness to change. And it’s a good start. I won’t forget all of it in a hurry, and I’m not saying we’re going to be best of friends, but I’ll try my best to forgive you. Not because I think you’re a good person, or because I accept your apology. It’s because I think you deserve it. So I guess that’s it…”

I trailed off when I felt my throat tighten.

“Um, I don’t think I’ll be able to train today. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And before he could see the tears fall, I had escaped to the comfort of my room.