The Dark Side Of Fate by Karima Sa'ad Usman

61 Remorse

~Leo~

I did not know the meaning of misery until I found myself living in it. Since I learned that Tamia was getting married to Sylvester, my heart has broken into a million pieces.

I was hoping she would come back one day. Most of the northern captives always do. I wanted to right all my wrongs and seek her forgiveness.

I sat on the couch in my living room. I stared at the invitation to the all-region sports games sent to me by the council, and even though we had responded, I was dreading going there. I was going to see Tamia in his arms, and my heart could not bear it.

Amanda came out of her room, and that was when I noticed she had packed her bags.

"Where are you going to? You are almost due." I asked her, and she bowed her head.

"This isn't the life I wanted for myself, Leo. I can't continue living in another woman's shadow. She has moved on, yet you choose to be miserable. I have pleaded with you several times. You have disgraced me and belittled me. Most of the Lunas mock me now. I do not have a title, and neither are we married. Why did you do this to me, Leo?" She said, and I did not know how to start.

"I can't forgive myself for what we did to Tamia. She did not deserve all that happened to her here." I said, confessing my truth, and she sobbed.

"Why?" she asked, and I looked at her.

"I broke every promise I made to her because of you," I said, with my heart wrenching.

"She would have done the same had she found her fated," Amanda said, and I shook my head.

"She was stronger than me in that regard, Amanda. I know Tamia, and she would die before breaking her promise. She would have risked being weak to stay happy with me." I said and bowed my head.

"I was her first. She did not want to get with me because we weren't fated, but I assured her she had nothing to worry about," I said, and after saying it, I saw myself as a deceiver.

"She did not want me, Amanda, but I assured her. I told her I would reject my fated and risk being weak. She trained to be strong because of me, and we used to joke about balancing each other's strength." I said, and Amanda came to sit next to me while I wept.

"I promised her many things and broke everything that day on the balcony when I did not reject you. You came to my home quite alright, but you did not force me to get into your bed. You did not force me to accept the bond or claim you and did not force me to make her share. I lost my way completely and found myself doing things I couldn't even imagine to her. Never spending time with her, refusing to go out with her. I did so many things to her, Amanda; I treated her like a burden. And do you know the twisted part of all of this was that I expected her to bear with me and understand? I was a selfish prick," I said, laughing at myself.

"I hurt her and broke all my promises. I was her first, and I broke everything. I can never forgive myself for what I did to my wife, Amanda. She wanted to have children, and I told her we should wait; I could only understand her pain when she found out you were pregnant. I knew she would be hurt if I did not take the same precautions with you. It was as if I had used her to while away time until my fated came. I had failed completely, so I can't move on, Amanda." I said and looked at her.

"I do not hate or dislike you. If anything, you have been with me through this difficult time, but I can't forgive myself for what I did to Tamia. I saw the pain in her eyes before those men attacked, and I can never shake off the fact that I caused it. That pain was a permanent fixture since the dinner

party when I met you. I failed her every single time until there was nothing left to salvage," I said and began to weep.

I had to let out my hurt because, other than being my wife, Tamia was my best friend and confidant. I thought Casper was my best friend, but I was wrong. Tamia was there all along, and I took her for granted. She was always there to lift me up; she had my back and looked out for me. She made me happy and went out of her way to put a smile on my face.

I had never felt so alone in my life. Although I was surrounded by people, I was lonely and sad.

Amanda wrapped her arms around me and let me cry. The irony was that she was the cause of my pain and was trying to comfort me.

"You have to forgive yourself, Leo. Tamia has moved on, and she has found love." She said with a definite tone, meaning she knew something I didn't.

I broke the hug, wiped away my tears, and looked into her eyes.

"How do you know this?" I asked her, and she smiled.

"You forget I schooled in the north. Everyone is talking about the soon-to-be lady of the north. The Wolf Lord is madly in love with her. She presides over council matters. She can do whatever she likes. Recently she went to the west unaccompanied to discuss peace with Alpha Jake. She has moved on Leo, and she is happy. Why can't we do the same?" She said. I was hurt to hear that Tamia was free to move around, and she did not bother to come and see me so we could talk things through.

"She has let you go, Leo; you should do the same," Amanda said, and I shook my head.

"If you think I am lying to you, you will see them at the all-region games; I am sure you will have closure then," she said and stood up.

"As for me, I am going back home. I hoped you would come around, but until you get the closure you want, I know you won't come around," She said, and I stopped her from leaving.

"You will be due soon," I said and placed my hand on her bump.

"I do not want to miss out on this. I want to be there. I want to hold your hand through it, Amanda," I said, and she shook her head, wiping away her tears.

"You do not get to pick and choose, Leo. You are either all in or not," she said, and I understood what she was saying and nodded.

"Please stay and give me time. I will try to make it right." I pleaded with her, and she looked around and wiped away her tears.

"You compare me to her all the time, Leo. You always talk about her; you call her name in your sleep, even when we make love. How much more do you want me to endure? I never wanted this for myself. I have done everything to fit into her shoes. I have been training since they took her. I have studied hard and am a work in progress, but you are not encouraging me or giving me the support I need. You are not helping me, Leo. I am going through the transition alone. I can't continue like this." She said, and I buried my face in her neck close to my mark and sucked gently, making her moan.

I knew I was playing dirty, but I was desperate.

"Please give me time, Amanda. I am begging you." I pleaded with her, and she refused weakly with a moan.

"Please," I said and kissed her neck. Black growled, wanting her and I let him slowly take over.

"Please.." I said and kissed her.

She let down her defences, and Black took over. She was our mate, and we were trying to make her stay.

I woke up to someone banging on my front door.

Amanda was sleeping peacefully. I looked at the clock, and it was twelve midnight. Content bel0ngs to Nôvel(D)r/a/ma.Org.

I wondered who would be knocking on my door late in the night.

Amanda woke up, and I asked her to go back to sleep. She had bought a bigger bed for her room so she could roll comfortably on the bed.

I was yet to move her to the room I shared with Tamia, and I doubt I could do that. Buying a new house was looking like the way forward, but I would wait until after the games.

I wasn't hoping to get Tamia back this time; I just wanted to be sure she was genuinely happy.

If I suspected she was being forced by the wolf lord, I planned to help Devin take her from him. She deserved to be happy, even if it wasn't with me.

I wore my shorts and advanced toward the main door.

I was shocked to see it was Kyle. He was drunk and naked.

I let him into my house.

His eyes were swollen and red, and I wondered why he would run in wolf form from his territory to mine.

Was he out of his mind? I went to get him joggers, and he wore them and sat on my couch.

"What is the matter with you? It is twelve midnight. How long did it take you to get here?" I asked him, and he sighed.

"Thirty minutes, I went through the woods," He said, and I knew that was the only explanation for how he could get here in wolf form, still drunk.

It seemed Kyle had taken over from Linda and become the new drunk of our territory.

"What is the matter with you?" I asked him, and he began to weep.

"I shouldn't have let my Linda go, Leo. I was a horrible man. I did unspeakable things to her, and now I am paying dearly for it," he said, and I wondered what he was talking about.

"Rebecca is a bitch," he said with scorn.

"Her triplets aren't mine," he confessed, and I was shocked.

"It seemed she was pregnant before I claimed her," he said, and he wept.

"That was why I accepted her because Linda and I had been trying, and there had been nothing. I called my wife useless and barren and made my officers fuck her for entertainment," He said, and I punched him before I could realise what I was doing. He looked at me in shock.

I sent another.

"How the fuck could you do that? Do you know how that poor woman was seen and labelled? No wonder she was always drunk and willing to hop into bed with anyone. You had broken her and taken her pride from her, Kyle," I said, growling at him, and he bowed his head in shame.

Most of the land, money and resources he owned belonged to Linda. Why would he hurt her like that? He deserved the pain he was feeling.

"I was mad at her. I saw my time with her as wasted years. In my head, I had to touch my fated once, and she got pregnant. Meanwhile, I was with Linda for six years, and she never got pregnant.." he explained, and I wanted to beat the shit out of him, but he was already beating himself.

"Did you seek medical help to find out what the matter was?" I asked, and with how he looked at me, I knew the answer was no. The man was an idiot.

"So, how do you know the triplets are bastards?" I asked him.

"Kent fell ill, and the doctor wanted to give him a blood transfusion. The mother volunteered, but she wasn't a match, so naturally, it should have been me, but she refused. The doctor offered to test my blood and found that I wasn't a match either. So we decided to do other tests and discovered they weren't mine. She confessed to being with someone before me, and while I was still trying to figure out whether to accept or reject her, she continued to sleep with this man. She deliberately got pregnant, so she would get me because she knew I wanted children," He said and bowed his head.

"The bitch planned it all, Leo. She planned it all. She planned Linda's exit from my life," He said, weeping, and I wondered what he wanted me to do now.

"What do you want?" I asked him, and he wiped away his tears, got up and went to my liquor cabinet to help himself to more alcohol.

"You're in good rapport with the Wolf lord. I want to exchange Rebecca for my Linda," he said.

I knew it was the alcohol speaking because there was no way he could be serious, but I wanted to poke him a bit before telling him the truth.

"What about her being barren?" I asked, and he bowed his head in shame.

"Doctor said I have low sperm count, and I could only get her pregnant with assistance," he said.

I knew the idiot had already figured that out without the doctor because the woman was pregnant when he requested to have her locked up for flimsy reasons.

"I doubt Linda would want to come back to you, Kyle. The Wolf Lord is treating them well." I said, and he growled.

"Is he fucking her? Because I know that is what they do in the north. Fuck other people's wives," he said, and I shook my head.

"He isn't; he is with Tamia; I think she is with another alpha. I do not know, but I am sure you will find out during the All-Region Games. If she is free, you can plead your case there," I said, and he shook his head.

"You are the leader of the east. You should have my side if he says no," He said, and I shook my head.

"I will not risk war because of you. You have to try to offer the exchange most amicably, but I will advise you to continue your life with your fated and forget about Linda. She will not come back to you. I did not do anything to Tamia, and she wanted to leave me by all means; you practically ruined Linda. She will not want you. Besides, she no longer bears your mark, so let it go and lick your wounds," I said to him and told him he could sleep in the third guest room while I returned to Amanda's room to sleep. The man was a selfish prick.