Justin 3
JUSTIN
I had no fucking clue what to do. So I did the only thing that came to mind. I went to Luke’s bar. He wasn’t there at first, but by the time he got there I was three sheets to the wind. He started grumbling to his bartender about letting me drink so much. He just shrugged. “He’s your brother.” Yeah that is what I said to get him to keep ’em coming.
Luke sat in the chair next to me. “What the hell happened to you?” He is my youngest brother, but he is the one with the biggest heart. I think that is why he didn’t want to be in the corporate world. He’s too emotional for it. When the chance came up for him to buy the Eden bar from our new sheriff he jumped at the chance.
I shake my head. “You don’t want to know.” Then I lean back. “Or maybe you do. Another way to show what a fuck up I am. I am always second to David, now I am going to be the worst one in the family.”
Luke laughs. “Really. I am the black sheep of the family. Do you think you got me beat?” Dad puts him down a lot about opening a bar and not doing something more productive with his life. My dad’s words, not mine. I happen to like Luke’s bar. Especially right now.
I laugh. “Well, did you get a girl pregnant in high school and just find out about it now because after you slept with her you treated her like some dork that you couldn’t be bothered with. Now she doesn’t even want me to meet my son. She says it’s too much or some stupid shit.”
Luke shakes his head. “Nope, can’t say that I have. Boy that really is fucked up.”
I wave my hands around in my drunken state. At this point I probably look like some mad conductor. “See, I am a fuck up.”
Luke doesn’t take the bait though. “I said it was a fucked up situation. I didn’t say you were a fuck up. I think maybe we should call David to take you home though.”
“I can’t call David. He will hate me.” I pout.
Luke sighs. “Well, William is working so that leaves Dad, do you want to call him, because I do not recommend calling one of our sisters because then you will be even more screwed when Dad finds out.”
I groan. “Alright, I will call David.” I pull out my phone and try to find his name, but everything is blurry and looks like a wet spider web. I guess Luke can see it on my face because he takes my phone. He puts in David’s number and hands the phone back to me.
David answers with a concerned “Hello.”
“David. I need you to come get me.” I am kind of holding it together. I am actually swaying in my seat a little bit. I am not really sure how much I had to drink but it was probably too much. Yeah it was way too much.
“Where are you?” He sounds pissed.
“I’m at Luke’s.” I hope this is specific enough, because words are becoming harder. I think my brain is ready for the shut down sequence.
“What the hell happened?” David still sounds concerned but also a little pissed.
“I fucked up. I am a fuck up. You all thought I sucked. Well, I do. I fucked up so bad.” I can’t even hold the words back anymore. Not sure they are making sense but I am purging here.
“Look, just hang tight and I will be there. Don’t do anything stupid.” What the hell could I do that would be any stupider than what I have already done?
“Aren’t you listening? I already did. He looks just like me.” He does. It’s a mini me. He’s an adorable kid. I am sure he is smart too. Just like his mom. Maybe he’s athletic like me. That would be so awesome. The best of the both of us.
“I’m on my way.”
My brother clicks off the phone and I just lay mine on the table. “How about another round.” I look up at Luke.
He shakes his head. “Not a chance. You need to sober up. You aren’t going to face this at the bottom of a whiskey bottle. You need to man up and be a dad to this kid. That is the only way you are going to do this right.”
I know he is right but right now the bottle seems like a really welcome relief from the stress and pain.
Luke keeps me company until David gets here. He only leaves me for a minute to deal with something at the bar. I keep trying to get another drink, but he isn’t letting that happen.
When David gets here I know all hell is going to break loose. He looks ready to kick my ass. “Hey, big brother.” I wave at him with a big grin on my face.
He grunts. “Now, explain, why the fuck are you shit faced? You have Megan at home worried sick about you.”
I start shaking my head. “I didn’t want Megan to worry. Fuck. I’m so sorry.” I drop my head on the table in disgust.
Luke starts talking to David. “Apparently from what I can gather he knocked some girl up in high school and found out about it today.”
David turns his wrath on Luke. “You let him get this fucked up?”
“No, he was this fucked up when I got here. I yelled at my bartender for it. He pulled the brother card and got more drinks than he should have.” Luke protests. “The point is, Justin needs help. He needs to get sobered up and then deal with this problem. You know him and he isn’t going to be happy not having that kid in his life.”
David sighs. “Alright, I’ll take him back to my place for the night. Megan cleared out all the liquor because she didn’t want so much of it around. All I got now is the wine cellar. That’s locked. I don’t know what the fuck he has at his house.”
“I’ll help you get him to the car.” Then I have a brother on each side of me lifting me up. I hug them both.
“I love you guys.”
They both groan. David is the one to answer. “Tell us that when you have your lovely hangover in the morning.”
I groan. “Hannah is supposed to call me tomorrow.” That gives me mixed emotions. I am happy and sad at the same time.
Luke sounds shocked. “Hannah, as in your tutor in high school Hannah?”
“Yep, and my babymama. How fucked up is that?” I laugh, but there is no humor in it.
Luke shrugs. “At least she is hot. I mean it could be some ugly chick.”
I do this weird little PFFT sound then I get pissed when I realize what the hell my brother just said. “What the fuck do you mean Hannah is hot?” I am ready to kick my own brother’s ass. I don’t care how fucked up I am right now.
“She was my first crush. She’s still single right?” Luke is fucking with me I know but that doesn’t stop my anger from reaching it’s peak.
I pull away from him ready to punch him. “What the fuck dude. That is my baby mama.”
He laughs. “It’s not like you want to be with her. You said so yourself. She is just some baby mama. She’s not your girlfriend. I would be the perfect uncle/daddy.” Yeah he is definitely fucking with me and I am not in the mood for it.
I swing at him, but he easily avoids me. “Yeah, you need to sleep it off asshole.” He pushes me and if David wasn’t holding me up I would have fallen flat on my ass.
David growls at the both of us. “Will you two knock it the fuck off. I would love to go home to my woman at some point tonight. Just cause you fuckheads are single doesn’t mean that the rest of us are.”
I laugh. “I finally beat you at something.” It suddenly hits me that I have something before him.
He looks at me confused, still dragging my ass to the car. “What the fuck are you talking about?” Yeah David is not happy to be here. He would rather be anywhere else than dragging his drunk ass brother out of the bar.
“I had a kid first. I beat you at something.” I give him a grin, but I am not exactly happy about it. I’m not really happy about anything at this point.
He rolls his eyes. “Figures you would see it that way. Not this kid that has no idea who the fuck his dad is and might not want anything to do with the asshole that treated his mom like a piece of fucking meat. He’s not a baby Justin, he has thoughts and ideas of his own.” He has a point.
My smile falls. “I know I am so fucked.” My son is going to hate me. I will never have a good relationship with him. He is going to resent me and I will be that man that is in his life that he doesn’t want to even acknowledge. Then when he turns eighteen he will tell me to stay the hell out of his life. I am sure of it.
He groans. “Let’s just get you sobered up. I want to get home to Megan.” He lifts me a little trying to carry me more than lead me at this point.
“Yeah you and your happy little home life. You suck by the way.” I know that he loves Megan, but right now I don’t want to hear about love birds. I want to have some damn time to wallow in my own self pity and hope to God that I can get my son to forgive me.
He laughs. “Love you too bro.”Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.
That is the last thing I remember.